An Infinite Summer

5 Weird Things No One Told Me (Or I Didn’t Believe) About Being Pregnant

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1. Unemployment

Many, many people told me, “if at all possible, DON’T WORK while you are pregnant.  You will be so happy you didn’t.”  And now that I am pregnant, and not working, many, many (of the same) people now ask me, “but…what do you do all day?”

i-do-what-i-want

2. Pillows 

I had heard rumors that a body pillow is a pregnant lady’s best friend; HOWEVER, I was not prepared for the absolutely-vital-to-my-sleep body pillow + 2-3 regular pillows, and the nightmare that they are to untangle myself from, each time I get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom.  Neither was Trey.

bed cartography

3. Well meaning(?) commenters

“I thought you had just gained weight, I didn’t realize you were pregnant!”

“I like that girl’s shirt, do you see how it drapes to hide her stomach?”

“My sister/neighbor/friend is due before you, and she hardly has a bump!”

You Don't Say

4. Food

Contrary to popular myth, I have not had any middle of the night cravings for fried pickles and ice cream that can turn on a dime.  I do occasionally get something in my head, which I then think about until I actually eat it, but more often than not, I am just hideously indecisive, and am waiting for the day that it blows up in my face.

Go Ahead and Starve

But it won’t, because Trey is patient, and loving, and awesome.

5. The name game

I realize you’re supposed to keep your child’s name a secret until it is official to avoid unwanted opinions, but in our case it was slightly impossible.  When you are naming your child “The Fourth” of something, people generally have it figured out.  Even so, I was hoping that we could still skip the comments on the name, since it has basically been official since the time I learned that “Trey” stood for The Third.  (Like uno, dos, tres…get it?)  Little did I know, people are just as opinionated about your kid’s nickname, as they are about what goes on their birth certificate.

Haters Gonna Hate

Up next:  5 WONDERFUL Things No One Told Me (Or I Didn’t Believe) About Being Pregnant

4 Comments

  1. Yes. All of it. Just, yes.

  2. You are my favorite. The end.

  3. Love this! So funny. So what do you do all day?? ;) TEASING!

  4. I was EXACTLY the same way with Claire about sleep and eating. I getting the pillows perfectly arranged around the covers and then getting in and out is a nightmare. And with “cravings,” I just knew I wanted something, but couldn’t decide what that was. And it’s great that you immortalized those comments, because you will one day think they are funny. People just don’t think sometimes. I can’t imagine what to say in response that wouldn’t be rude. Glad you’re healthy!

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